1 You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead..
2 You’re back goes out more than you do.
3 You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
4 You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.
5 You are proud of your lawn mower.
6 Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and
isn't breaking any laws.
7 Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
8 You sing along with the elevator music.
9 You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
10 You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11 You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12 People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
13 You answer a question with, "Because I said so."
14 You spend money on LCB.
15 The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
16 You take a metal detector to the beach.
17 You know what the word "equity" means.
18 You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
19 Your ears are hairier than your head.
20 You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
21 You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
22 You got cable for The Weather Channel.
23 You can go bowling without drinking.
24 You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
25 People send you this list and you read it.
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