Grand Mistress and Hardcore performing a song at GAP

25 signs that you’re getting OLD

1 You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead..
2 You’re back goes out more than you do.
3 You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
4 You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.
5 You are proud of your lawn mower.
6 Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and
isn't breaking any laws.
7 Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
8 You sing along with the elevator music.
9 You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
10 You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11 You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12 People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
13 You answer a question with, "Because I said so."
14 You spend money on LCB.
15 The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
16 You take a metal detector to the beach.
17 You know what the word "equity" means.
18 You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
19 Your ears are hairier than your head.
20 You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
21 You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
22 You got cable for The Weather Channel.
23 You can go bowling without drinking.
24 You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
25 People send you this list and you read it.

A Handbook for Hares

Haring is the most vital responsibility that can be entrusted to a hasher. It takes planning, insight, creativity, and yes, some panache to loll an exciting trail and establish the conditions for a great ON-ON afterward.

This handbook is written based on the traditions of many hash chapter and loads of hard lessons learned over the past countless years of hashing in and around the world. You might think that the detail contained in this handbook may seem to be a bit overboard for a group which essentially has no rules, but there's a good reason for it. Everything contained herein will help you, the hare; avert the known and avoidable pitfalls associated with haring.

I've seen nearly every one of the things summarized in this handbook go wrong at one time or another, either here or elsewhere. Simply put, no hare should be condemned to repeat the mistakes of others. It is in this spirit that the Hangman’s Hashing Handbook for Hares is written. Please read carefully before you hare the next time. In a feeble attempt at organization, this guidebook is divided into the following sections.

A reminder for virgin (first time) hares: You ought to have a veteran co-hare! There's no substitute for experience - you can learn much from your grizzled old partner. If you don't arrange for a suitably experienced co-hare yourself, the GM will appoint one for you.

Scheduling the Hash

The primary mode of hashing is the Hare where the entire trail is lay a few hours before the start of the hash. The Hare provides the opportunity for people of all fit abilities to run the trail and also allows time to construct a more elaborate system of checks.

There should be enough parking spaces at the start for everyone expected to show up. Also, make sure that it's all right to park there. If there isn't sufficient parking space and you simply must use this location, you'll have to gather at another spot where parking is adequate. This adds a degree of complexity to the hash which isn't recommended under normal circumstances.

If ending the hash On-On at a public establishment (restaurant or pub, etc.), coordinate your TIME with your co-hare(s) well in advance.

Planning the Trail

Explore your trail early. This means actually running or walking the trail several times to get a good feel of its viability in terms of length, difficulty and opportunities for pleasant surprises. You can't scout a good trail from a car or off a topographic map, but both can be useful support items. Trail should normally be in the 5KM to 8KM range but surely in no way more than 10KM or so. Evaluate your trail in terms of length. This is a simple courtesy to give the hounds some idea of what they're up against and can serve to head off later complaints about the trail. Don't cross private land without permission.

Do not use the hash to demonstrate your SUPERB physical fitness. The point of the hash is for both hares and hounds to have FUN. As a hound, getting your dick knocked into the dirt simply isn't fun, no matter how amused it the hare is about it all. They are three important things not to loose sight of: (1) Actual weather conditions on the day of your hash can wreck havoc with the best laid plans. (2) Once the hash starts, it's no longer in your control. (3) Every hare has a trail that will not work.
Before laying the trail, make sure that both you and your co-hare(s) are all using the same paper. Otherwise you just may confuse the hounds, get them lost and into an ugly mood. Don't screw with the pack by making the trail difficult to find; screw with the pack by where the trail goes. It's far better to lay a trail that's easy to find and a son of a bitch to traverse, than vice-versa. Assigning segments of the trail to different co-hares to lay independently is a sure recipe for disaster. The only guaranteed way to ensure a logical trail is for all hares to lay the trail together.

Trail should use lots of paper. This can't be emphasized enough. Ideally, hounds should be able to see the next paper from the last. When bushwhacking, make paper very close together. Checks keep packs together and Front Running Bastards confused. On the other hand, too many checks can be quite annoying. In this matter, trail laying is more of an art than a science.
Unfortunately, you can only learn the appropriate balance from experience, both as hare and hound.

Running with Veggie Hash

On May 4, 2008 in Desa Sri Hartamas, I am running with Veggie hash, the hare is Tarzan & Jane the run site is via the main access road, Jalan 19/70A and go right to the end. At the T junction, turn left and goes all the way up the hill until you see a construction site (new condos all along the way). Park you car and get ready for a good run!

Indeed the evening is humid, the run kick off at 5.30pm, along the way we run through the open terrain in Desa Sri hartamas area, move backward and forward to Bukit Kiara, Taman Tun, our out trail is at the back of Desa Sri Hartamas School near the water tank, the run is ideal, approximately one and the half hours for front runner, two hour for the slower rambler…

As usual, we shower chit-chat and having some beers before the circle, a few went back early for the reason that is Sunday night, have to get back to work tomorrow morning.

The circle started after a while, GM on down a few new guests and the mystery whip punished a few bamboozle, the circle close and we proceed for the vegetarian dinner, is something new and delicious!

Sufficient Beer and food, hasher who stay chatting with each others finally end the party at Sunday evening around 11.30pm.

Cheers!

The Hash Commandments

1. The GM is always right
2. When the GM is wrong, Rule 1 applies
3. The RA is always right except when Rule 1 applies and there shall be no defense.
4. The RA checks on proper behaviors before, during and between runs. It is left to the RA's discretion as to whether he/she will ignore any transgression, give a private reprimand or make a charge. If a charge is made a penalty will automatically follow.
5. The penalty for any transgression is one down-down, except when the charge is severe, when a penalty with shame shall apply. A penalty with shame is a down-down taken kneeling down (or on ice if any is available).
6. Beer is to be drunk when down-downing or poured over your own head. Excessive waste may result in a second down-down with shame.
7. Anyone having knowledge of a transgression by a fellow Hasher may make a charge during the down-downs. A charge will always result in a penalty for the accused, the accuser, or both, at the discretion of the RA. Charges from the pack can be defended, but poor defense will result in a penalty with shame (see Rule 5).
8. Intelligence is neither required nor appreciated on the Hash. Thinking on the run is a punishable offence.
9. Short-cutting is allowed. Being caught short cutting is a serious offence (see Rule 10). A short-cutter will be known as an SCB (Short Cutting Bastard).
10. At more or less regular intervals, every Hasher will be asked to set a run. Since being a Hare is a great honor, refusals are neither expected nor accepted. If the run is passably good, the Hares will be awarded a down-down. If the run or anything about the run is considered to be below standard for KH4, the Hares may face the great honor of the Hash-Shit.
11. Silent running is a punishable offence.
12. Every Hasher will be given a Hash Name. They will subsequently be known only by this Hash Name. Failure to observe this rule will result in a charge
13. The Hash has internationally accepted forms of communication on the run: - When ON paper shout 'On-On'. When Checking shout 'Checking'. When calling someone back to the correct trail shout 'On Back'. All calling must be at an appropriately high decibel level. Hashers caught shouting 'On-On' when not in sight of paper will be charged with misleading the Hash.
14. All Hashers should be strongly committed to the Hash and attend gatherings whenever possible. Irregular attendance will be noticed and charged.
15. The Hash is a non-competitive run through the local countryside in order to encourage a thirst for beer that should already exist. Aggressive running is totally banned and is a punishable offence. Aggressive runners will be called FRB's (Front Running Bastards). Persistent FRB's may be awarded a down-down prior to a run to curb their enthusiasm.
16. No crop bashing will occur during the run. Down-down with shame to the offenders.
17. Stationary checking or refusal to check when so required by the RA will undoubtedly result in a charge.
18. Leading the Hash astray is easy. However, the perpetrator of this crime will surely be made to suffer.
19. The GM can add, delete or change, any rule, at any time. No public announcement will be deemed necessary; however transgressions will still result in a charge.
20. The Hash is democratic and fair but will obey the GM in all matter

about Klang Hash House Harriers & Harriettes

The KH4, Klang Hash House Harriers & Harriettes had its inaugural run on 13th November 1981. After a quarter century of Friday hashing, the club celebrates its 25th Silver Jubilee run oh the 18th of November 2006.

Dr Syed Sultan aka Maddoc, as the founding GM, He is dedicated in alcoholism. Today, Maddoc is still running with KH4 and active in Tiger Beer!

KH4 runs every Friday at 6.00pm Rain Hail or Shine, Mixed hash, Guest fee RM25 for male, RM15 for female. Runs vary from 5KM to 10KM over all sorts of terrain. For club members, each Hasher takes his or her turn to set a run from their designated run site.
Despite its growth, KH4 today is an organized group of 100 men and women who meet weekly to chase the hare. We follow paper, and the trails are never boring . . . we run roads and back alleyways, but we also ford streams, climb hills, explore new jungle, and scale cliffs. And although some of today's health-conscious hashers may shun a cold beer in favor of water or a 100 plus, trail's end is still a party.

So, if you'd like to spice up your running plan with fun, good company, new surroundings, and physical challenge, try hashing.

If you'd like to try hashing in Kuala Lumpur, why not check it out with me at: hashfriends@gmail.com